Hurting
by AiLing
Summary: The aftermath of 13x12. Can Omelia find their way back to each other?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys- so I a long hiatus whereby I watched PP and occupied myself with real life. But now, I'm ready to get back into the writing groove! :D**

 **This is a continuation of 13x12. I just can't bear to see Amelia withdrawing and distancing herself from Owen like that on the show. And it's really painful to see Owen hurting. I hope Omelia can have a heart to heart talk and sort things out!**

 **Anyways, enjoy…and my apologies in advance if my writing is a little rusty- I haven't written for quite some time after all….:P**

* * *

 **Hurting**

The pepperoni pizza tasted so delicious as Amelia closed her eyes to savor its taste in her mouth.

' He said to tell you he's not gonna wait forever.' her mentee Stephanie interrupted the blissful moment.

' What?' Amelia mumbled in reply, her mouth still full of pizza. She didn't realize that she was starving until she took the first bite.

'Before he walked away, Dr Hunt told me to tell you that he's not going to wait forever.' Stephanie repeated in a clearer tone. 'It seems like he's losing his patience.'

Amelia didn't reply, choosing to take another bite of her pizza instead. Lately her appetite had increased, and every food she took tasted heavenly.

Stephanie sighed, internally debating on whether to probe Amelia further. Amelia was her mentor and superior, she had no right to interfere with her personal business. On the other hand, watching Amelia withdraw from Owen and avoiding him at all costs was getting painful to watch. She didn't know exactly what happened between them, but she could see that it was eating Owen up inside. She noticed that he had this sad and worried expression permanently stamped on his face since Amelia moved in to stay with her a couple of days ago.

She had been shocked to find Amelia standing at the other side of her apartment door with her luggage when she answered the doorbell that night. She had expected it to be Jo or Leah. Amelia had looked so crestfallen and tired, asking for a place to stay. A million questions were running through Stephanie's mind as she let her mentor into her house, but she decided to leave the questions until later as she made some hot chocolate for her.

Over the next couple of days, Stephanie had to rush back and forth from the hospital to her apartment as she brought back their patients' scans for Amelia to review. Amelia would then look through the scans and give Stephanie her management plan, before the resident had to rush back to the hospital to carry out the plan. Luckily all the plans so far had been conservative treatment or just minor procedures.

Stephanie really didn't mind her mentor staying at her place. She just missed being able to invite the other residents over for a sleepover, or having the freedom to do whatever she wanted in her own apartment. Now that her boss was staying with her, she felt like she had to guard her behavior at all times. Furthermore, her snacks and yogurt seemed to have disappeared at an alarming rate since Amelia first appeared at her apartment door. She had NO idea someone so small in size could have such a huge appetite.

'You have to talk to Dr Hunt.' Stephanie finally found the courage to speak up, ' You can't just keep shutting him out like that. Didn't you hear what he said? Each time you don't open the door, it gets a little easier to stay inside. I don't know what exactly is going on between you both this time or what you both are fighting about now- but you should go talk to him. Sort out whatever issues you both have. This can't go on forever.'

' Well, I can't. Not yet.' came the nonchalant reply as Amelia took yet another bite of her pizza.

Stephanie could feel her temper beginning to rise, but she tried to remain calm, reminding herself that it wasn't wise to yell at an attending.

' He's worried about you. He has been asking about you every day. Yesterday he asked me if you were okay and sober. He told me to tell you to come home and that you both will be fine. Why are you doing this to him?

' It's none of your business.' Amelia said curtly, pretending to focus her attention on the crappy daytime soap opera playing on the TV. She didn't appreciate her resident interfering with her personal affairs.

Stephanie knew better than to probe Amelia any further. Grabbing a piece of pizza for herself, she announced that she was going to go back to the hospital to round on their patients.

* * *

Stephanie sighed as she noticed Owen walking towards her while she was sitting in the MRI scan room, supervising a patient's brain MRI. She hated always being caught in the middle of this couple's personal drama.

' Did you tell her what I said?' Owen asked.

' Yes' came the brisk reply.

'Well, what did she say?'

' She didn't say anything! She just said she can't talk to you just yet and that it's none of my business.' Stephanie answered exasperatedly.

' Oh… I'm so sorry Dr Hunt' Stephanie quickly apologized upon noticing Owen's hurt facial expression. ' I didn't mean to yell at you. I can't get to her either, she wouldn't open up to me or tell me anything. I'm just as much in the dark as you are.'

' I don't know why is she behaving this way.' Owen admitted. ' One day, we were happily talking about not waiting for kids, and the next day she yells in my face that she doesn't' want kids. Are women usually this confusing?'

Stephanie shrugged. She didn't want to get even more involved in this couple's issues.

' I don't know. I can only speak for myself. I'm not that hard to read.'

Their conversation was interrupted when the patient's MRI brain image showed up on the computer screen.

Stephanie let out a gasp as she continued staring at the images. ' This looks like a huge astrocytoma!' she cried excitedly, clicking the print button.

'I have to bring the scans to to confirm the diagnosis though..' she proclaimed , grabbing the printed out scans and running out of the room.

' Tell her that she can't keep shutting herself out from me and from the rest of the world like that!' Owen yelled at Stephanie's retreating figure.

* * *

Once he was left alone in the MRI scan room, he continued pacing up and down the room, his arms folded. He could feel his blood beginning to boil. He had done nothing wrong in his mind to deserve this silent treatment from his wife. All he did was make his intentions to start a family known. That was all it took for her to withdraw from him. He didn't know where he went wrong. Was wanting to start a family a wrong decision on his part? Did he push Amelia too much into that direction? But they did come to a consensus that they both wanted kids. So what went wrong? Why didn't any of the women he loved want his kids?

He banged his right fist against the wall in frustration, and let out a yell of pain. He grabbed his now hurt right wrist to examine it, realizing that it was now swollen and probably needed some medical attention. The wall now had a hole in it.

' Amelia, please come back to me.' he whimpered, still clutching his right wrist. He would now have to go back to the ER to get it checked out.

* * *

Amelia couldn't focus on the crappy soap opera playing on her TV. Her stomach was churning and twisting and she felt some cramping, similar to the menstrual cramps she usually felt. She didn't want to take any painkillers unless the pain was really intolerable. Maybe her period was finally about to come, it had been delayed for a few weeks already.

Ignoring the discomfort, she switched channels, trying to find a good television show to distract her.

The truth was, she was now having conflicting feelings inside. Part of her wanted to go back to Owen and apologize to him. She loved Owen so much and wanted to go back to the way things were during the first couple of months of their marriage. She missed their morning sexual romps, and cuddling up next to him in bed. She missed their casual discussions about work and throwing silly jokes at each other.

But then- she just couldn't bring herself to tell him that she was too afraid to start a family. She couldn't tell her husband that the main reason she was withdrawing herself from him was that she was afraid she couldn't give him what he wanted so badly….a family. She was afraid because she just couldn't bring herself to face another pregnancy, with the possibility of having yet another anencephalic baby.

But hearing his words from the other side of the door an hour ago stirred a conscience from deep within her. He sincerely cared about her and wanted her to return to him and open up to him. Owen was a sincere, kind-hearted and wonderful guy and a great husband, he deserved that much.

' Maybe I should go back to the hospital to apologize to him.' she contemplated. ' And tell him the whole story about my unicorn baby.'

As she stood up from the couch, she suddenly felt the room spinning, forcing her to sit back down.

Beads of sweat trickled down her forehead as she felt a sudden wave of nausea overtake her. She had been feeling this way for the past couple of days, experiencing dizzy spells and bouts of nausea. She made a mental note to scold Stephanie for storing expired yoghurt in her fridge.

She rushed to the bathroom just in time to throw up all the pizza she had just eaten. When she had emptied her entire gut contents out, she sank onto the floor, her knees wobbly and her head spinning. Then her entire world went black.

* * *

This was the first time Stephanie actually felt excited to be travelling back to her apartment in the middle of her work day. She held the films of the patient's brain MRI in her hands, guarding them like a precious certificate. She was hoping and praying that once Dr. Shepherd confirmed the diagnosis she had been suspecting and praised her for picking it up, she would give her the opportunity to perform her very first solo tumor removal. She could already feel the tumor in her hands.

' Dr Shepherd!' Stephanie called out excitedly as she barged into her apartment. ' Look what we've got here! I brought back some MRI films showing a nice looking tumor- I'm thinking it's a grade 3 astrocytoma…'

The TV was on, and the pizza was finished, but Amelia was nowhere to be found. Usually when she came home, Amelia would be hanging out at the kitchen table or on the couch.

' Maybe she's in the bathroom.' Stephanie thought to herself.

' Dr. Shepherd' Stephanie called out as she walked towards the bathroom. ' I've something exciting to show you once you're done..'

She stopped dead on her tracks as she saw a limp figure lying still on the bathroom floor.

'Oh my God!' she exclaimed as she ran over to Amelia's motionless figure.

' Dr. Shepherd, can you hear me?!' she cried as she felt frantically for a pulse and some breathing.

She sighed in relief when she felt a pulse, although weak and thready.

Hands trembling, she dialed 911, praying for her mentor to be ok.

 **Any reviews, comments and messages are very much appreciated :) I really love to hear from you guys and would like to know what you guys think! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hurting - part 2**

Owen winced as April wrapped his wrist in a bandage. It was sprained, and there were a few bruises and abrasions, but thankfully the xrays showed that his wrist wasn't broken.

They were both in the currently unoccupied trauma room 4.

'Care to tell me what happened exactly?' April asked, intrigued.

' I fell down the stairs.' Owen lied. ' I was looking at my phone when walking down the stairs- bad move on my part.'

April wasn't convinced by Owen's story. She had been working with Owen long enough to detect when he was lying. The guilty look on his face gave it away.

She didn't want to pry though- so she played along with the lie.

' Oh? Did you hurt yourself anywhere else?' she asked.

' No. Only the wrist.' Owen replied.

' You sure?'

' Yes'

' Well- if you say so.' April conceded as she finished bandaging Owen's wrist.

Owen didn't reply, pretending to seem interested in the tiles of the trauma room floor, which were still stained with the blood from the previous patient who occupied the room.

' You need to rest your wrist.' she said. ' You can take the rest of the day off, Hunt, I've got this.'

* * *

April walked out of the trauma room, leaving Owen alone in the room, sitting on the bed with his hands covering his face.

Just then, the ER doors burst open and two paramedics entered with a patient trolley in tow. A flustered looking Stephanie Edwards followed closely behind.

April rushed over to them.

'Edwards- what happened?' April asked concerned, once she reached the trolley. ' What's the case?'

Stephanie didn't need to utter a word. April gasped as she recognized who the patient on the trolley was.

' Shepherd' she whispered in shock. ' What happened to her?' she asked Stephanie.

'' She fainted. I found her unconsious on the bathroom floor.' Stephanie replied in a shaky voice. 'She still has a pulse but it's weak. .I dunno what happened exactly. She was fine this morning.'

' Ok, let's get her on a bed and hook her up to a monitor and an IV drip and run some blood tests.' said April- her trauma surgeon mode taking over. She then brushed Amelia's hair to one side to check for any laceration wounds on the forehead or other signs of head injury.

' There are no signs external or internal head injury though.' April said to herself as her examination revealed that Amelia's pupils were equal and reactive.

A few nurses and interns came to her aid as they transferred Amelia to an ER bed and hooked her up to the monitors.

' Kepner, what do we have here?' Owen had noticed the group of doctors gathered around Amelia's bed when he came out of the trauma room, and decided to check it out.

April and Stephanie exchanged glances as they saw Owen approaching the bed. In the hustle of the moment, they had forgotten about him.

' Owen' said April softly as she placed a hand on his shoulder. ' I don't want you to be shocked. It's Amelia.. She fainted'

Owen's facial expression abruptly changed to that of concern as he pushed past April and a few interns to get to Amelia's bedside. All the initial plans he had to be mad at her were gone.

' Amelia!' he exclaimed as he cupped her face in his hands. She looked so lifeless, a pale shadow of her normally lively self.

' Amelia, babe, wake up!' Owen pleaded, as he held her hands tightly in his own. Although one glance at her bedside monitors showed that her vitals were stable, he couldn't help but feel for her carotid pulse and breathe a sigh of relief when he felt it.

April stood at the other side of Amelia's bed, feeling sorry for Owen. He looked very crestfallen and worried. But she had a job to do.

' Owen- I'm going to set an IV drip for her, and I can't do that when you're holding both of her hands.' said April gently but firmly.

Owen finally let go of Amelia's left hand to allow April to insert the cannula into her vein. Gripping his wife's right hand tightly, he winced as he saw the cannula needle being inserted and blood being collected from her vein.

Stephanie excused herself to go to check on her patients, seeing as there were so many people already attending to Amelia.

' Dr. Kepner, do update me on how she is.' she whispered to April, who nodded, before she left.

' Hmm….she's isn't hypoglycaemic.' April told Owen, as she saw the reading on the blood sugar machine, while an intern rushed Amelia's bloods to the lab. ' Has this ever happened before? The fainting spells?' she asked, looking at her distraught colleague.

' No….never.' Owen shook his head.

' We'll wait for the lab results to see if she has anaemia or electrolyte imbalance' April said. ' Does she have any heart conditions?'

' Not that I know of.' Owen answered, still not letting go of Amelia's hand.

' Well- we'll have to wait for the lab results' said April.

' Hold on a minute.' Owen said, perking up as he thought he saw Amelia's eyes flicker open for a split second before closing again.

'Amelia?' he whispered.

This time, her right hand moved and she opened her eyes.

She looked from Owen to April, both bent over her, concerned expressions on their faces.

' Where am I?' she croaked. The entire room was still spinning and she still felt the cramping sensation on her lower abdomen.

' Amelia.' Owen repeated, relieved to see his wife awake. 'You're in the ER. What happened?'

Amelia groaned as she felt another cramp on her lower abdomen.

' I blacked out in the bathroom. My stomach hurts.' she whispered softly.

' Your stomach hurts?' April was always quick to pick up on patient's symptoms, due her training in emergency and trauma.

Amelia nodded. Meanwhile Owen remained silent on the other side of her bed, squeezing her hand.

' Which part?' she asked, her trauma surgeon mode taking over as she palpated Amelia's abdomen.

'Lower part' said Amelia wincing as April's hand reached her lower abdomen.

'I'll get a portable ultrasound' said April as she exchanged worried glances with Owen. ' I'll be right back.' she said as she gave Amelia's hand a squeeze.

* * *

The atmosphere surrounding Amelia's bed was tense as the couple were left alone together for the first time in past couple of weeks. Neither uttered a word as Owen remained by Amelia's bedside, holding her right hand.

' I'm sorry, Owen.' Amelia whispered softly, as tears started pooling in her eyes. ' I know you're worried. I'm so sorry. I was about to come here to the hospital to explain everything to you.'

Owen remained silent for a moment. The truth be told, he was still mad and upset at his wife for leaving him like that without a proper explanation. He was still confused by her actions, and he really didn't know where he went wrong. But right now, she was ill and in pain, and she needed him. He'll wait for her explanation later, all he wanted now was for his wife to be okay.

Amelia winced again and Owen felt a stab at his heart seeing his wife in pain.

' It's ok, you just rest.' he answered, as he gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. ' I just want to make sure that you're ok.'

Just then, the curtains were drawn, and April returned with the portable ultrasound machine.

' Amelia- we'll get you checked ok?' she said as she smiled reassuringly at the neurosurgeon.

Amelia nodded as she winced again. She had no idea what caused the pain which had been bugging her for the past couple of days- she needed to find out.

' This will feel a little cold' April warned as she squeezed the gel on Amelia's lower abdomen and began manuvering the probe around the area.

Owen meanwhile, sat silently on the other side of Amelia's bed, still holding her hand. His eyes were transfixed on the ultrasound screen . He was not the religious type who prayed, but he was hoping that there wasn't anything seriously wrong with Amelia.

He froze as he saw the image on the screen. Although he wasn't trained in Obstetrics scanning, he knew exactly what it was. April also spotted it as she zoomed into the image to show what was unmistakably an embryo properly implanted in the uterus.

' Wow congrats you guys!' April said cheerfully as she proceeded to measure the crown rump length. ' This is good news indeed!' she added, turning to smile at the couple.

Her smile faded when she noticed both Owen and Amelia's facial expressions. Amelia's mirrored that of total shock and disbelief. Owen's was also that of shock, coupled with a tinge of joy which he seemed to be trying to hide.

April cleared her throat, noticing the tense atmosphere between the couple.

' According to the crown rump length, you're 7 weeks along, Amelia' she said. ' When is your LMP?'

' 2 months ago.' Amelia replied softly as she looked away from the screen.

Meanwhile, Owen continued staring at the screen, a small smile forming on his face.

' Ermm….I need to check the heartbeat…to see that everything is ok, because you said you're having cramps.' said April, noticing the couple's conflicting reactions. ' Did you experience any spotting?'

Amelia shook her head.

April zoomed further into the image, and pressed and adjusted the HR button. Soon, the steady sound of the fetal heartbeat filled the entire cubicle.

Owen's heart leapt with joy at the sight of his baby. He couldn't believe his eyes, it was his baby he was looking at. He had always wanted to be a father, it was his lifelong dream. And now he was indeed going to be a father. But this was not the way he intended to find out. Not under these circumstances. A couple of weeks ago- his heart skipped a beat when he spotted the pregnancy test on the table. He could barely control his excitement while waiting for the test result, and his heart sank when he saw the negative result. But it might have been taken too early after all.

His joy was shortlived though as he saw Amelia's facial expression. She looked pale- he didn't know whether it was due to the shock of the news or the fact that she hadn't fully recovered from her syncopal attack. She had this terrified expression on her face, which broke his heart. She clearly didn't share his excitement about the fact that they were going to be parents, and it somehow dulled his excitement.

' I'll give you both some privacy.' April offered kindly. ' I need to page Arizona to confirm the ultrasound findings and to book you for further antenatal checkup. I'm going to trace your blood results too. Were you vomiting a lot lately?'

'Yes, every morning for the past couple of days.' Amelia replied weakly. ' I think they've subsided slightly now.'

' Oh the cramps might be due to due dehydration. But I'll page Arizona to check on you.' said April, smiling at Amelia.

She drew the curtains behind her as she left, leaving Owen and Amelia alone in the ER cubicle again.

* * *

Owen struggled to find the right words to say to Amelia. He knew that she didn't share in his joy and excitement over the news. And he wanted to know why. They were so many questions he wanted to ask her- why she suddenly changed her mind about having babies, why she had to run away from him like that- when he had been nothing but nice and caring towards her. But now didn't seem to be a good time as she seemed rather upset.

' Amelia, talk to me.' he said. ' Tell me why are you so afraid to have a baby when you agreed to not wait for babies just 2 weeks ago? I just want to know what made you change your mind? I promise I wouldn't judge you, I just need to know.'

Amelia swallowed thickly. She knew that Owen had been such a wonderful husband to her and he deserved an explanation.

But she was just feeling so tired and overwhelmed at the moment. She needed time to process the fact that she was indeed pregnant.

Damn- she was going to have another anencephalic baby. How was she going to cope?

Tears pooled in her eyes as she looked up at her husband and shook her head.

' I'm sorry Owen.' she said , her voice shaky. ' I want to be happy about this- I really do. But I can't.'

' Why not?' Owen genuinely wanted to know.

He didn't get an answer as tears started rolling down Amelia's cheeks and she started sobbing.

Owen felt so helpless, it hurt him to see his wife in pain, and he badly wanted to help her. The problem was- he didn't know how- not when he didn't know what was going through her mind at that moment.

So he did the only thing he knew- he held her tight to his chest until her sobs subsided.

 **Ok guys- so this is it. Again, sorry for the long wait- I hope you liked it! Any comments, reviews,** **and messages** **are very much appreciated :) I would really love to hear from you! Do let me know what you think ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hurting - part 3**

 **Again- sorry for the wait in between updates- I** **'ve been really busy. Thank you all for your patience and support for this fic :)**

' How is Amelia?' April asked Owen when he approached her at the nurses counter.

' She just cried herself to sleep.' Owen replied, shaking his head with a sad expression on his face. He kept his voice low so that none of the nurses could evesdrop on the conversation. Fortunately for them, all the nurses were busy with patients.' She seems frightened and in shock. I want to be joyful with this news, but I can't with her reacting this way.'

' Do you have any idea why is she reacting this way?' April asked empathetically. She knew that Owen had always wanted kids and that he was devastated when Cristina aborted his baby. She knew that he would be a great father and it broke her heart too to see him look so upset.

' I have no idea,' Owen replied, burying his head in his hands, and letting out an exasperated sigh. ' Just a couple of weeks ago we were talking about not waiting to start a family. And then a few days ago she just yelled at my face saying that she doesn't want a baby. Obviously something has happened in between to cause her change her mind about this.'

' Have you talked to her?' April suggested helpfully. ' I'm sure she has a valid reason to feel this way.'

' I want to talk to her- but she just shuts me out.' said Owen, as he lifted his head up to look at April. His blue eyes were dulled, mirroring his pain. ' I tried asking her again just now- but she was too overwhelmed to talk about it.'

' Maybe you can talk to her when she has recovered from this initial shock.' April suggested. ' You know- finding out that you're pregnant when you're not mentally ready to embark on a pregnancy can be real shocking news- I can testify to that.'

' Alright, I'll wait. I just want her to open up to me and tell me exactly what's wrong.' said Owen. 'She avoiding me like this is killing me. I don't know where I went wrong. Am I wrong in forcing her to start a family with me when she doesn't want to? Why doesn't any woman want to have my babies?'

April cleared her throat, wondering how to get her point across to her forlorn looking colleague in front of her. She really felt for him, and she also wished he would have the happiness and the family he longed for.

' Maybe she has something about her past which is causing her to feel this way' she said softly and cautiously. ' Has she ever mentioned anything to you about her past?'

' Well- shortly before we decided not to wait for babies- she did mention about Ryan- her then fiance who died beside her due to a drug overdose.' Owen recall, frowning. 'That was the only time she had opened up to me about her past.'

' I…ehm…. I hope I'm not prying, but I remember Amelia looking so nervous in the bathroom a couple of weeks ago when she told me that she might be pregnant. She said she hadn't taken the test yet and I told her to at least tell you and that you'd be excited. Then she said she didn't have to do this last time. When I asked her what did she mean by 'last time' she said the last time she was pregnant, she didn't have to tell the father- as he was dead. Maybe being pregnant again would bring back all these past memories to her? You should really talk to her Owen. See things from her point of view, try to understand where she's coming from.' April suggested.

Owen furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. 'What do you mean the last time she was pregnant?'

April cocked her head to stare at Owen. ' You didn't know?'

Owen suddenly had a moment of epiphany. He recalled the time when he and Amelia were in the hospital chapel lighting a candle for Samuel shortly after his death. They were merely colleagues back then and didn't know each other well enough yet. And yet she chose to confide in him that moment. He remembered her saying something along the lines of ' My baby lived for 43 minutes.'. He didn't pry further back then as he wasn't close to her then. But he did hold her hand to offer her some comfort back then. It was a special moment for them, a moment of intimacy.

However, after that moment- they both returned to their busy lives at work and she never mentioned about her baby to him anymore. When they eventually became a couple and got married, the conversation about her baby was never revisited. Amelia never talked about her baby to him, and he never asked. It was as if she had buried that part of her in the past and wanted to forget it.

Because Amelia never talked about her baby, Owen assumed that it was not such a big part of her and she was ready to move on.

But now that April had brought the topic up, it all suddenly made sense to him. Connecting the dots together from the bits of info he and April obtained- he deduced that Ryan was the baby's father, and he died without knowing that Amelia was pregnant with his baby. And the baby eventually died too. He didn't know what condition the baby died of though. No wonder Amelia was so reluctant to have a baby, she was too scarred by her past which she kept buried deep inside. He would need to have a heart to heart talk to her when she felt better.

' I need to talk to her.' Owen admitted. 'You're right- maybe there's something from her past which she's hiding from me and afraid to talk to me about.'

April patted Owen on the shoulder and smiled. ' You've got this, Owen', she said in encouragement. ' I've gotta go attend to the incoming patients. You stay with Amelia. By the way- I've booked a room in the Obstetrics floor- and Arizona would be going there to check on her in a while.

' Ok- thanks April.' Owen replied, feeling grateful for his fellow trauma attending.

* * *

There was a tense atmosphere in the room Amelia had just been transferred into. Amelia's blood results had just returned and her haemoglobin levels were on the low side which was to be expected during pregnancy. Otherwise, her other results turned out normal. Owen was rehearsing in his mind how exactly to ask Amelia about the baby which she had lost previously. What would be the best way to start the conversation? How could he get her to open up to him about her past without scaring her away?

Meanwhile, Amelia was also rehearsing in her mind how to tell Owen about her unicorn baby. Her cramps have subsided and she knew that it was time for Owen to hear the truth about why she was afraid of having another baby. He had been nothing but sweet, gentle and caring towards her- all he asked of her was to start a family with him, a family he wanted so badly. He deserved to know the whole truth- she needed to start opening up to him about her past instead of running away and hiding her past from him. She was just afraid that once she told him about her baby, he would blame her for giving birth to an anencephalic baby and he wouldn't want to have children with her. Worse still, he would leave her. In hindsight, she knew this was an irrational thought, but lately, the demons of her past were slowly coming back to haunt her and telling her to run like she normally did.

She looked up at Owen, who was sitting by her bedside, his forehead creased with frown lines. He looked so worn out and forlorn, and his eyes were void of their usual sparkle. She knew that she was the one who did that to him, and it made her feel so guilty.

' Owen' she said softly. ' Remember the time at the chapel?'

Owen nodded his head, silently urging her to continue.

' When I told you that my baby lived for 43 minutes- I didn't tell you what happened to him exactly- what he died of.'

' Well- what happened to him?' Owen was curious to know.

Just then, Arizona entered the room.

' Hey guys' she greeted the couple in her usual cheerful manner. ' Looks like congratulations are in order.' she smiled warmly at them.

Her smile faded when she noticed the tense atmosphere between the couple. She had a feeling that she was interrupting an important conversation between them.

' I'm sorry.' she apologized. ' I can come back later if you want.'

' No- it's ok.' said Amelia quickly. ' You aren't interrupting anything.'

Arizona stole a quick glance at Owen, who remained silent.

' Ok- so Amelia I'll need to book you for an antenatal appointment and perform the usual antenatal checkup.' she said.

The couple nodded wordlessly.

' So how are your cramps now?' Arizona asked.

' They've subsided. And I'm not having any nausea or vomiting any longer. But I still feel weak though.' Amelia replied.

' It's normal to feel cramps when you're dehydrated. Arizona explained. ' You were probably dehydrated due to excessive vomiting.'

Amelia nodded. ' Yes, I have been vomiting every morning for the past couple of days.'

' Well- you can try salty crackers.' Arizona suggested.

' But they don't taste as good as yogurt' Amelia joked meekly, causing Arizona to laugh.

' Ok- let's get to business.' said Arizona as she looked through April's clerking.

' So it says here your Last Menstrual Period was on the 13th January, and the scan done in the ER showed that you're 7 weeks along.' Arizona confirmed, as Amelia nodded.

' Is this your first pregnancy?' Arizona asked, as Owen's eyes immediately met Amelia's. Amelia's heart skipped a beat- she knew it was time to confess about her previous pregnancy.

She swallowed thickly before she answered .'No. This is my second pregnancy. My first one was 5 years ago. He had anencephaly. He died shortly after his birth due to respiratory distress.'

' Oh- I'm so sorry to hear that.' said Arizona sympathetically. ' Well- I hope I can give you comfort in the fact that anencephaly has a less than 5% recurrence rate.

' I'm glad to hear that. We don't want another anencephalic baby, do we?' Amelia tried to joke.

She realized her joke backfired when both Owen and Arizona had a grim look on their faces.

' Sorry.' she muttered. ' Filter.'

At that moment, Owen finally understood the actual reason why Amelia withdrew from him after the baby talk and why she seemed so relieved at the negative pregnancy test result a couple of weeks ago. She was afraid of having another anencephalic baby. It all made sense now. He wished she'd talk to him and open up to him about her fears though.

He looked at Amelia, who was pretending to be interested her patient gown. Sensing that her husband was looking at her, she looked up to meet his gaze. Their eyes met, and there was a moment of understanding between them before Amelia's gaze returned back to her gown.

' Ok- so let's get you booked for your first antenatal appointment next Tuesday.' said Arizona as she typed the details into Amelia's chart. ' First I'll repeat the scan again.'

Arizona confirmed April's earlier scan findings- with the crown rump length corresponding to 7 weeks gestation and the strong fetal heartbeat. After that, she booked Amelia for her first antenatal appointment the following week.

She left the room after again congratulating the couple.

* * *

The tense atmosphere returned once Owen and Amelia were left alone again in the room. There were so many unspoken words between them- so many things that needed to be said.

' Yes- he had anencephaly' Amelia said, before Owen could ask her the question she knew was coming.

' I'm so sorry to hear that Amelia.' Owen said earnestly ' I really am.' He wanted to hug her tight, but he remembered his anger towards her for running away. He settled for holding her hand in his instead.

' Me too.' Amelia replied sadly.

Suddenly- the fact that Owen had heard her telling Arizona her past obstetric history gave her the courage she needed to explain the details of her previous pregnancy to him.

She swallowed and cleared her throat before she started.

' Remember I told you that night about Ryan- and how he died of drug overdose in his sleep beside me? It was the worst nightmare of my life- waking up beside his dead body.' Amelia confided, her voice shaking, and her body shivering at the memory.

' Yes, I do.' Owen replied, gently squeezing her hand in his, silently urging her to continue.

' Well- I was pregnant with his baby.' she said. Owen nodded- yes, he had connected the dots after his conversation with April earlier on.

' I found out I was pregnant rather late- during my second trimester, after I came out of rehab. I missed my period for a few months but I didn't think much about it as I thought my body was out of whack.' she continued. ' I was actually excited initially- I thought at least I could keep a piece of Ryan with me.' she let out a sniffle at the memory.

Owen was looking at her with his blue eyes- listening intently to her every word. This gave Amelia the strength and courage she needed to continue her story.

' So- I had my first scan with Addison.' she said. ' I remember it very vividly- we were both in high spirits and looking forward to seeing the baby. Then I saw Addison's facial expression change and I immediately knew something was wrong. Then when she broke the news to me that my baby had anencephaly- I thought that she was joking initially. I mean- how ironic can it be- a brain surgeon having a brainless baby?' she chuckled bitterly at the memory.

' But then it turned out that she wasn't joking. How cruel can this universe be?' she added, as she looked up to the ceiling.

' I'm so sorry Amelia.' Owen said softly, as he gave her hand another reassuring squeeze. His heart went out to her, he can't imagine how it was like finding out her baby had a fetal anomaly which was incompatible with life.

' I was given the option of aborting him.' Amelia continued in a shaky voice. 'But I didn't. I just couldn't, Owen. I decided to carry him to term so that I can donate his organs. I mean- if he can't live his life- might as well save the lives of other children right?'

' That's a very noble thing to do, Amelia.' Owen said earnestly. He had a newfound respect for his wife when he heard this. She knew that her baby would not survive after birth and yet she decided to honor his short life by donating his organs to save the lives of many other children. It showed him how big of a heart she had and how generous she was.

Amelia gave him a small smile, feeling comforted by his comment. ' I did manage to hold him in my arms when he was born.' she said. ' He was the most beautiful baby ever. I call him my unicorn baby, because I always believe that unicorns are magical, and he was magical indeed. I held him in my arms for 43 minutes before he started developing respiratory distress and Addison and Jake had to take him away from me so that they could use his organs. I was reluctant to let go of him.' she said, as tears began to roll down her reyes.

Owen placed a comforting hand around Amelia's shoulder.

' I'm sorry Amelia- I understand this must have been a traumatic event for you.' he said.

' I'm afraid to admit it, but I still miss him.' Amelia admitted, more tears rolling down her cheeks as she looked up at Owen.

Owen used his thumb to wipe a tear off her cheek.

' I know you do.' he said softly.

' Owen- I'm scared.' she finally confessed. ' That's the main reason I ran. That was why I was reluctant to have babies with you initially. I was afraid that if I get pregnant I would have another anencephalic baby. And now that I am pregnant….' her voice trailed off as she looked at him with fear evident in her eyes.

' Amelia- you heard what Arizona said. The recurrence rate is less than 5%' said Owen softly, rubbing her arm as a gesture of comfort.

' But what if we're the 5%? You know that the odds are always against me! The universe hates me!' Amelia cried out.

' I'll be with you the whole time.' Owen said earnestly. ' Every step of the way. We can do this- healthy baby or not. We have each other.'

Owen's words comforted Amelia somewhat as she leaned against his chest as he held her.

Amelia felt a huge burden lift off her chest after she had finally opened up about her past and confessed her innermost fears to her husband.

' But you do believe that we'll have a healthy baby?' she asked, looking up at Owen for reassurance.

' We will have a healthy baby, Amelia.' Owen said. ' Actually we'll have 5 healthy, beautiful kids,' he added, causing Amelia to chuckle.

' How do you know?' she teased him as she wiped the tears off her cheeks with the piece of tissue Owen had passed to her.

' Because I have the best genes.' Owen answered matter-of-factly as Amelia hit him playfully on the arm.

Her smile faded again as the lingering thought in her mind returned.

' I'm so sorry Owen.' she added. ' I'm so sorry for running away like that. I got scared. That's what I do- I run away when I am afraid, I bail when things get hard. This is something I need to work on.'

She swallowed hard, knowing that this was a huge step for her, confessing her weakness. Usually she was too strong willed and hard headed to admit her own mistakes.

' To be honest, I was disappointed and upset with you for running away without an explanation like that.' Owen confessed. ' I mean - you didn't give an explanation- you just took off like that with a simple note. Of course I'm going to blame myself. For days I wondered what I did wrong to make you run away from me like that. I asked myself daily where did I go wrong.'

Seeing Owen's pained expression and heartfelt confession tugged at Amelia's heart. It made her feel guilty and she hated to admit it.

' I know- and I'm sorry about that. I owe you an explanation' Amelia said. ' I was feeling so overwhelmed and suffocated that time, with us talking about starting a family and the prospect of me having another baby which might possibly be anencephalic. I should've opened up and explained everything to you, but I didn't know how to. I felt like I couldn't breathe and I needed some space and time first. Also…..' she rambled as her voice faded.

' Also what, Amelia? You can tell me anything, you know. I wouldn't judge you.' Owen looked at her in the eye.

' I was afraid that if I told you the whole story about my unicorn baby, you would leave me because I wouldn't be able to produce healthy babies.'

A hurt expression flashed across Owen's face at Amelia's confession. Why would that thought ever cross her mind? Didn't she know that he loved her too much to ever leave her?

' Amelia! Of course I would never leave you. I love you so much, do you know that? Even if our baby is really anencphelic, I'll still love him or her and you.' said Owen, cupping her face in his hands.

' Ok- I'm relieved. to hear that.' Amelia admitted. ' I'm sorry Owen for running away again. Like I said, I'll run when I get scared. I'm sorry for not opening up to you earlier and confessing to you about my innermost fears. I'm just not used to this, you know, the whole opening up and talking thing. I guess I'm used to just burying my feelings and running away from my past. But you deserve better than that.'

When Owen didn't reply, she looked away, feeling more guilty than ever.

She ran away from him twice, and yet both times he waited for her to return. What did she do to deserve such a loyal guy in her life?

' You always wait for me to return.' she said, looking up at him as their eyes met.

' Because each time I know that you'll return.' he said earnestly as their foreheads met and their hands and hearts connected.

Being a couple was about opening up to each other about their innermost fears and deepest secrets and sharing the darkest moments of their past. This was a valuable lesson that both Owen and Amelia would learn over the years as they would build their family and lives together.

 **Ok guys- this is it- do let me know if you want a sequel of this- Owen and Amelia visiting the unicorn baby's grave in LA- featuring the LA gang. ;)**

 **Again, comments, reviews, and messages are very much appreciated :)**


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